A Few Laughs

Things often happen to me, when I am surrounded only by children, that just make me want to say: did that really just happen? or does this only happen to me? or why does this always happen to me? You know the kind of things I am talking about, I'm sure...The saddest thing for me, is that there is no one there to laugh about it with me. So today I decided to share a list of those stories in hopes that someone out there will laugh at these things that seem to FREQUENTLY happen...

- On the one day that I don't make Judah put on nice shoes when we are going to pick Jake up from his kindergarten class (at a very, very, very nice and new private school), he has to go potty and CANNOT wait... so what do I do? Walk inside the front door with Emma on my hip and Judah holding my hand; he is wearing sweat shorts, black fireman boots (on the wrong feet), and a t-shirt...we proceed to go into the bathroom where there is nothing soft, so it is just loud and echoes. Then Judah says (in a not so quiet voice) "Woah, Miss Awisha, dis potty is high, it is so hooge I could fall in, and it is so big dat I can barwee (barely) get my pee pee to go in de potty...etc..."and when we walk out of the bathroom there are probably about 20 people who are getting a tour of the school, standing right outside the bathroom door, just staring.

-We taught Emma Lou to rock her baby...her version of what we taught her is grabbing the baby by the head, singing as loudly as possible to it, and swaying it ferociously from side to side - so hard that sometimes the baby goes flying...all the while smiling the biggest smile ever, as if she is SO proud of herself. Lets just say that gentleness may not be one of her strongest characteristics.

-The family I nanny for got 2 puppies a few months ago...that means 2 more things I get to potty train :). The one morning I had to be at work at 7:15, and shortly after I got there, I took the 2 puppies out to their outside kennel to go to the bathroom. A few minutes later, it started to rain. So I rushed out (again with Emma on my hip - poor girl) to bring the puppies inside and they were COVERED in mud... I grab one, put him in the garage sink, grab the other one and go to put him in the sink (Emma is walking around the garage) and the 1st one jumps out of the sink and up on Emma, so she is crying and covered in mud and both puppies are running around getting the garage all muddy. I grab E's booster seat, and she eats breakfast on the counter in the garage while I hurry to bathe the puppies before either of the 2 kids sleeping upstairs wake up and get scared because they can't find anyone in the house....by the time I get all of this done it is only 8:00am...seriously? I have 8.5 more hours of work! This is going to be a long day!

- When at work, I often get asked questions that I am not prepared for, nor do I know how to answer them on the spot...here are a few examples:
Since Jesus lives inside me, then if I were to die and they cut me open, would they find Jesus?
How does Mommy get the babies out? (Jacob's answer: "well Jess, I think she uses a pizza cutter")
Why is your tummy getting SO big when the baby inside it is not close to that big? (as if I didn't feel big enough) (when I was pregnant, I got MANY questions)
I can't think of anymore questions, but you would be amazed at the depth of some of the questions I get asked...I can hardly believe it myself most times.

-I ran downstairs from the playroom to get something out of the big kitchen and I left the baby gate at the top of the stairs...as I am running back up, I get to the 2nd flight of stairs, and there is Jacob carrying Emma to me....the baby gate was still up, and there was a chair next to it...I don't even want to know how he got her over the gate. We talked about NEVER doing that again, even if Emma is crying (which she wasn't, she was as happy as could be), because I will be right back.

-All in one day...actually, all before lunch, Emma had strung toilet paper from the guest bathroom in our house down the hallway into the living room (it is a long hallway), emptied out Eric's shirt drawers (and nicely wadded each shirt up), pulled most of my small appliances out of the one kitchen cabinet and emptied all of her clothes out of her dresser. I promise, I never leave her a lone for very long, she is just extremely quick. And she is always SO proud of herself when she is all done. We now close all doors to all rooms, so she is contained to the hallway, living room, and kitchen....it helps.

-After arriving to work at 7:05am and working for 9 hours, I go to pick Emma up from Gramma's house. On my way, I deposit a check at the ATM and then get Emma. As I am backing out of the driveway of Gramma's house, I get an email on my phone from the bank that says I left my card in the ATM - seriously?? So, I drive back and get there right before the bank closes...I get out of the car, take 2 steps towards the door and realize that I have Emma with me and it may be a good thing to take her inside (I'm tired!!!), so I grab her and in we go. I walk in and there are ONLY male tellers and they think the fact that I left my debit card in the ATM is pretty funny...they were never disrespectful or rude, they just liked to make a lot of jokes about it...eventually I got my card back. By the time I got home, it was 6:30pm...I had left at 6:45 am...almost 12 hours earlier...UGH.

This is my life...and I LOVE it. I wouldn't trade it for the world...it is chaotic, challenging, and tiring, but most of the time it is also absolutely hilarious and invigorating. I am SO blessed!